thought i would drop you a line and let you all know that i, mike rhodes, went to church for the first time since summer 1998. it was great i can really connect with the church in telluride. and it wasn't just myself who went there was about 7 others with me. we rolled up about 9.15pm to find the church looking splendid, we stood there in awe for a few moments then we got to work.
with 8 of us working fast it was not long before the ramp on to the hand rail was ready and waiting for us to hit it. the rail was about 3 1/2 foot high and some 15 feet long the end of the rail was onto the street but with soo much snow the road was covered in about 2 inches of hard pack snow. after the run in was made i was the first one to hit it. backside boardslide all the way, first hit. second hit backside boardslide fakie out. sweet. then the priest came out. now in my mind vicars and priests are supposed to be nice people (unless you are a priest in boston then you like to touch kids!), but this guy was not happy, he actually stood on the porch of the church and used the words bloody, ****, **** and christ! then he stormed off.
he returned a few minutes later to tell us that the police (5-0) where on their way. now this gave us about 3 minutes to hit the rail some more which we did. then the blue lights appeared. now this is telluride and not much happens so i was bracing my self for swat to rope in from choppers and dogs attacking us, that was not to be.
all the people bar about 4 of us bolted for the safety of thier homes, but being responsible the 4 of us where going to try and difuse the situation (yeah right, we are dealing with american cops here, you know the ones that got fired from their cop jobs in big cities so end up in small rural towns where they can run the place). as we where using a van to light the rail the owner of the van asked his friend to drive it down the road and park it so it wasn't blocking anything. the police thought something else and promptly gave chase (this is where it gets 'i'm the big cheese cop i can say anything and do anything i want'). ash, the driver, gets out the van and is comfronted by the town sheriff who starts f-ing and blinding at ash for no apparant reason. ash was told in no uncertain terms that if 'you where in new york you would be on the ****ing floor with a gun in the back of your head by now'! what for? for parking you mates van in a parking space!
it didn't end there either, once ashes details where taken down (ash is from florida, and the cop new this) the cop asked if he did this sort of thing in his home state. what was ash supposed to say? he gave the right answer, 'no sir there is no snow in florida'! the cop seeing what a stupid question he had asked (well i bloody hope he saw it, even i know theres no snow in florida) stood back and told ash not to get smart with me! what a power hungry idiot. while this was going on the rest of us decided to clear the ramp away out of our good hearts to help the situation while keeping an ear on chief wigam and his in depth knowledge of his own country!
by this time the priest had come and was standing by us trying to say that he was not a badass person (his words) and not to be ****ed for with him (erm let me see, we are there having a bit of fun, not damaging anything, not disturbing the peace, and not causing any problems what so ever), cause we're gonna be ****ed off you pillock!
so we have cleared the ramp away, everything is looking rosy apart from the fact that the cops are thinking of anything to book us for (none), i think they decided to settle on a parking ticket or some thing, even though it was about 10.30pm! anyways there we are shoveling snow and having polite conversation (kinda) with the priest when the cop comes up in a seriously ****ed mood and anounsess that if we cause anymore trouble or disturb the peace in telluride we would be thrown in jail. lets brake this down, whos peace where we disturbing, apart from ours, the priest? he was nicely tucked up in his cosy home touching some kids (supposidly) totally oblivous to us until he came outside to walk his dog. the police? where we disturbing them from their donuts and violent interigation of some poor teenage kid who had proberly popped outside for a fag? i don't think so mr plod. so at the end of the day what did we do? we tried to have some fun and where shot down for it by power hungry people who, well to be honest, are just a corrupt old bunch of farts (thanks will carling for that one).
just one or two more things. just before christmas the san miguel county sheriff was arrested for drink driving, he appoligized and was allowed to keep his job! last week in the paper there was a report that there had been a car crash in telluride, by the time the cops responded the people involved in the crash had exchanged addresses and insurance details and left the scene. i sumize that to exchange addresses, swear abit and drive off would take a minimum of about 20 minutes. thats 20 minutes for the cops to drive about 6 blocks in a town where it only takes you 10 minutes to walk though the whole of town! but it only takes 3 minutes to respond to call of 8 young people snowboarding next to a church!
one more thing, i was told that reason that these cops are in town was because they did get fired from their last cop jobs!
