using sophisticated timing equipment one has discovered that on average people who go the biggest off the calshot kicker get 1.03 seconds of air time. in conclusion it has been discovered that this 1.03 seconds of air time equates to 32 chickens in slippers playing khabatti under a heat lamp on sunday mid summer. i bet you didn't know that.
my workings
Cx = * (Ax-By) + Cx(Ay*-Px) / 14X(12*Ax)
where x = amount C = chicken A = arse b = ball sac p = pig s**t
GENIUS! Einstien would be proud, i had been working on that formula myself, just last week. Thak you for filling in the blanks. finaly a can sleep again.